Coming clean: addictions, doctors, and John Mulaney

     “It’s weird to be a recovering drug addict. It was weird to be a drug addict, but at least I was on drugs.*Laughter* It’s strange sometimes, you know, like I’m doing great. But when I’m alone, I’m with the person that tried to kill me. Sometimes I walk past a mirror, I’m like, “This f*cking guy again.” That is kind of a creepy feeling sometimes. But it’s also a nice feeling. It gives me a strange kind of confidence sometimes, because, like, look, I… I used to care what everyone thought about me… so much. It was all I cared about. All I cared about was what other people thought of me. And I don’t anymore. And I don’t because I can honestly say, what is someone going to do to me that’s worse than what I would do to myself? What are you going to do, cancel John Mulaney? I’ll kill him.”

*Laughter*

When I heard that my favorite comedian, John Mulaney, was in a serious bout of rehab for cocaine addiction, I was disappointed. That probably meant no John Mulaney Netflix specials for multiple years, no reprisal of his role as “Spider-Ham”, and more rewatches of his older material, which were still funny. It was a self-centered way for me to look at his problem, which makes sense. He’s a celebrity, he doesn’t know who I am, and I clearly don’t know who he really is, given his surfacing life choices. He made me laugh a lot, and I was anticipating being deprived of that fun, fresh take he brought to the scene. His humor was crass, but not depraved, snarky, but less cynical than most comedians. I’d miss him and the way he made me laugh.

And then, he did something I wasn’t expecting. Something very few people have ever done, or ever could do. In April 2023, 2 years after his going into rehab, he released a comedy special onto Netflix called “Baby J”, entirely devoted to his experience of rehab and giving up cocaine. It’s standup comedy, sure, but it’s a host of other things too. The entire thing is self-depreciative. John is the main thing John makes fun of for the entire 60+ minute run time. From the dark months leading up to his fateful intervention to his current state of mind after the fact, he gives the audience the whole picture of how his life transformed, while much hilarity ensues.

Topics include:

• Attempting to destabilize the intervention that is trying to save your life

• Koala Bear Care

• Stealing your own money from your accountant for drugs

• Why 12 people are way too many people to owe for saving your life

• Your Dad going on a quest

• Why the January 6 insurrection happened

• Horny doctors?

• And much more. 

This isn’t doing it justice in the least. You must go listen or watch it. Go. Do it right now and come back later. He works much harder on these than I do.

The most amazing aspect of the whole special is that he doesn’t stray too far to either side. His subject matter never gets too grim, it’s a comedy special, nor does he treat it too blasé. He’s made some real serious mistakes that have really, really messed up his life, but he’s not going to hide it. He’s going to bring it to the forefront, and hope that there’s other people out there in the world that will find it really, in a sobering way, funny. Afterall, we’re funny creatures who do stupid things.

There’s way more going on here than jokes, though. There’s bravery, hope, shame, pain, and most importantly empathy. Given how John describes what he’d been through, I don’t doubt he’d hope that there were those in the audience who were struggling to face their addictions. Addictions come in all shapes and sizes, but a common thread amongst most is their power to isolate the individual from all others. You’re alone. This is your freakish problem. No one struggles like you do. John made a change there. By coming forth with his story of his addiction, and making it palatable, he’s practically encouraging people that they don’t have to be alone in their fight.

You should definitely watch this special(on Netflix or Spotify or elsewhere) if you haven’t already. I just want to note one thing before I’m done and it, I think, is in a way one of the most universal human experiences.

John wasn’t just addicted to cocaine but a whole slew of prescription drugs he got through this sleazy “doctor” who was totally crooked and maybe a sex offender.

When John got to rehab, he was a raging bull; full of anger, desperation, and cocaine, and maybe some of these pills. As he is writhing in anguish in the hospital room, a legitimately good doctor walks in to take care of him; “If you have only been seeing [sleazy doctor] for the past few years, a good, legitimate doctor is terrifying. It’s like an exorcist.” 

The second John said this, I got it. I fully empathized with what he was saying on the spot. I have had this experience. The only difference is that I was dreadfully addicted to my sin and God is the doctor.

I mean… they don’t call him the great physician for nothing. His whole goal with my life is to fix me- to cure me of all the addictions I suffer from- in this case, I guess that is a spiritual problem for the most part, but it’s still a problem. A problem, were it not for his deft use of the scalpel, would kill me- eternally.

All he requires, and I think you see this a bit in John’s amazing comedy special, is humility. Examine yourself. What is wrong with you? How will people look at you? How will God look at you? These are way more important than whatever image of yourself you set up. Shatter it, and let God put the pieces back into place as they should go.

I hope you enjoyed this week's edition! I will be traveling the next two weeks, so no essays, but hey, who's counting?

Cheers,

Jonah